Hiking with God

Sue and Pam enter from the back of the room and struggle through the audience to reach the stage. They are wearing hiking gear and carrying backpacks. They argue as they go. At the back of the stage are two signs, one says 'Right' and points to the audience's right. The other sign points left and says 'Left'.

Sue : This is all your fault.

Pam : My fault? I told you we should have taken the last turning.

Sue : You were the one who lost the map.

Pam : Look, I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?

Sue : A warm bath, a hot meal and a comfy bed.

Pam (sulkily) : Some explorer you are.

Sue : Yeah, yeah. (They reach the signs). Oh great, now which way, Indiana?

Pam : Well, let's see, that way (She points to the right) it looks like you go along the path, through the stream, and up the - oh, my. (Both their heads tilt backwards as they look up the mountain).

Sue (patronisingly) : Alternatively, we could go the other way, along this rather handy road. (She gestures to the left). This very flat, rather handy road.

Pam : (She takes a quick look both ways again). I take your point. (Jesus enters from the audience's right. He is also wearing hiking gear).

Jesus : Perhaps I can help you decide.

Sue : Who are you?

Jesus : A friend. And I know my way around here.

Sue (curtly) : Well, we've already decided, thank you.

Pam (trying to ease the tension) : It's not much of a decision, really. That way looks dangerous. (She points right).

Sue : And steep.

Pam : Yes, and steep. We just want to get home. How do we know that we can even get through that way?

Jesus : I've been through already - I've got the scars to prove it. Trust me. With my help, there's nothing along that path you won't be able to cope with.

Sue : Look, that's all very well, but my feet are killing me and it doesn't look much like I'll find a comfy bed in that direction.

Jesus : You'd be surprised and, besides, what good is a comfortable journey if, in the end, you're only going nowhere? That road may look easier, but it'll just take you further and further away from home.

Sue : Yeah, yeah. Come on, Pam, let's go. (She makes to go to the left).

Pam : Hang on! What if he's right? He sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

Sue : Well this road looks easier to me. (Pam looks at Jesus, wondering what to do. Sue becomes impatient). Look, I'm going. You can catch me up. (She exits to the left).

Pam : (She dithers and glances after Sue). Er, I have to go. Sue's my friend; I'll have to go that way.

Jesus : She's more interested in her feet than in going the right way.

Pam : But...

Jesus : Listen to me, if you go with her then you'll still be on your own. Yes, this road will be more difficult but it's the only way home. Follow me and I will be your
strength. (He holds out his hand to her).

Pam : Always?

Jesus : Always. (She hesitates and then grasps his hand). Now, come on. (He leads her off to the right). We have a long way to go.